A Blazing Star, Feb. 14

Dear Diary,

What a world, huh? I am exhausted.

I guess you might not know what a world it is, Diary, except for what I express to you.

Or is there more to you than that?

A side I will never see ‘cause I am always talking to you.

Do you have a depth that grows roots beyond this side of the page and my perspective of the letters forming words?

…

I guess I may never know?

…

You’re not going to say anything, are you?

…

And there is so much to say, but how much is worth telling. Maybe it is time for a moment of breath and quiet.

….

So, I saw myself on a camera the other day. It was in a meeting room, and my face popped up on the big screen on the opposite wall.

It took me a sec to look at this person and realize it was me.

I was stunning, Dairy.

Funny how life has these little surprises and gifts just to keep us going in moments where it would be nice to lay down and give us.

Reminds me of the time I wished upon a star.

I still have its blessing.

What did I wish for, Diary?

I wished for presence. And that wish doesn’t go away by telling you. In fact, it is a wish I can share with anyone willing to bring a mindful focus on the present moment.

But I guess that means a lot of different things to each of us, even Diary. Especially you.

But for me, it means to observe, be curious, try to gift love, accept love when it is gifted, and breathe deeply.

Breathe is especially important when the tears begin to come. They come more often these days for me.

But I have the people who will sit with me, see me, and practice yoga when I have tears streaming down my cheeks.

And I am here for myself, too, particularly when I feel the feels. And I have others here for me, too. But I’ve realized I have had to show up for myself first and foremost.

The sorrow is a blessing and a curse.

I dunno; I am exhausted.

More to come, I hope…