Serotinous Emotions, Part One, Feb. 6

Dear Diary,

Whoa.

Deep breath.

Yesterday was a tough one. It was a magic one. It was an intense one. My emotional state red-lined and ignited. But I did not go spinning down in emotional flames like last week. But my big crash happened Monday.

Sooooooo……

I am somehow fine now. A quick turnaround.

The emotional fire burned hot and quick. It nourished my emotional system. But it was not fun. I am so so so lucky to have a reliable support network of good people that help me shoulder a lot of my pain.

I have a new connection with Hope, an emotional part caught in the burn. She transcended into a new role during the burn but is still very fragile.

I am curious about her. And I am excited to see how my new relationship with Hope develops as we both blossom all serotinously-like into something yet imagined.

Botanically speaking, serotiny means something like 'following' or 'later,' or late development. For example, serotinous flowers on trees develop only after the tree has produced leaves. And serotinous cones chill on the boughs of lodgepole pines for years, hugging tight around developing seeds, protecting them long after maturity. Then a fire sweeps through, and bloom, they open and seed the newly fertile ground.

And that is what seemed to have happened in my left these last couple of weeks.

It is totally generative and lovely. But emotions are so hard, too!

And I hope things continue to work out as the morning progresses into the afternoon and the day transitions into the week.

But who knows.

Life is a mystery.

Life is blooming.

Life is destruction.

Life is pretty hard.

Life is pretty cool.

More to come, promise