Lil’ Histories, 1: Narrative

Once upon a time…Is that a good way to start these posts? It is a really dumb way to start, so yes, I think I found my Lil' Histories Intro.

Anyway, history is really confusing because humans are really confusing. History is this wonderful tangle of stories. Everything is messy and twisted.

But the sanitized stories I learned as a kid were so neat, cut, and dry. The real story is never that clean.

History attempts to document and contextualize the human journey. I've been trying to find grace when contemplating these stories. After all, we are all just trying to navigate this world. We are trying to locate ourselves as we feel and breathe in it.

We think identifying with the past will provide answers and create identity. But it is not that simple. While we can learn from the past, there are no solutions, only beginnings, and ends, and more beginnings without ends.

While history can be very personal, it is essential not to get too invested in the feels as a historian or plant my feels on the historical narrative. History is a subjective practice. There is no way to keep objective or neutral. Therefore, I have been working hard to acknowledge subjectivity mindfully. For me, this means to understand where my bias lies, what work my narrative is doing, and recognize other sides and understand what work those sides are doing and their intent.

I have come to understand I can never truly relate to someone in the past, but I can still empathize. And I it is important to acknowledge the moment that I begin engaging with a historical narrative, I am becoming a part of that moment.

Our world is magic. It is full of beautifully terrifying essences which are also terrifyingly beautiful. Simple stated, this the fear and awesomeness is the basic embodiment of the sublime.

In witnessing such grandeur, it is impossible to avoid romanticization, awe, respect, or even fear. To claim anything different is repressive and just as dangerous as letting emotions fully take the wheel.

But in those moments of indulgence, a responsible historian pauses, questions absences, and accepts the bad with the good even if it undercuts the joy or ease of the narrative.

It is a bummer, but from my experience, I do not find joy in history. It is not an escape, nor is history easy. Seldom it is heartwarming. Historical narratives are rough and brutal and mean and violent and oppressive. Sorrow, suffering, and desolation exist in the moments of victory, celebration, and peace. And most of the time, the most ugly experiences remain silenced, erased, and lost due to several reasons we will get into in later posts.

I take joy in learning about how historical narratives stack on each other to inform contemporary interpretations. A prof once told me that it is up to each generation to re-write history how they see it.

And that is the main point of this post: History is as much of a reflection on the present as it is on the past. The time stream of narrative is what makes history so messy, so complicated, and so personal. But it is also remarkable because it is a way for generations to communicate with each other. But that means questioning as much as it means we need to listen.

History doesn't repeat itself, but historians and historical narratives make history repeat itself when scholarship remains unquestioned and/or performed without mindful rigor.

And by scholarship I do not just mean work done by university-trained professionals. They are wonderful sources to look toward for examples about how to do history both wrong and right. But those with Ph.D’s do not have the final say.

Whether we like it or now we are all historians! Therefore, we all carry a responsibility to practice history with open-minded awareness.

But instead of telling you, I want to demonstrate the mechanics of historical narrative. Bring you into the loop through collaboration and exploration.

If you are willing to come, I invite you on this historiographical journey with me as I grind through the final draft of my master's thesis. I plan to post fragments of my current drafts and revisions, along with more explorative posts to shake up my mind and provide insight into my lowly perspective.

By the end, which will not be an end, I plan to provide insight into the histories of science/knowledge, emotion, the American West, the Progressive Era, and prolly a whole lot more…

…

So…

…dang it…

I still don't know how to conclude these posts. It will come eventually. Or not. Who knows.

Awkward…