Dear Diary, 20, The Wait

Dear Diary,

The next entry is going to be a challenge to write.

I might cry a little.

It is a joyful occasion. But the tears won’t be all tears of joy.

The implications of the coming entry are very sad.

They are empowering and full of hope as well.

I thought about writing it all tonight. And I thought about tomorrow morning. I may have penned a few words, outlined the ideas. But I know even by the dawn I will not have the energy to really savor the moment.

And I really want to exist, fully immersed in the moment when I write the next post.

Maybe tomorrow night? I guess we will see.

I thank myself and the world for letting me feel the grace of patience tonight.

I thank the ease my perfection provides.

Spoiler alert, my perfection plays a huge role in this next part. I suppose patience does too.

For now, I wait.

Wait in the grove, wait in the shade.

While I wait, I might observe the silence of brewing chaos or the chaos rooted in silence.

Or observe nothing for everything’s sake.

Whatever the wait means, I will hang with it and continue to find breath.

Life is now.

Life is later.

More to come, promise